{"headlines":[{"title":"How Brazil’s election result could shape women’s football in the country","banter":"\"Oi, mate! If Brazil’s election can shape women’s football, I reckon I should run for prime minister – I’d definitely kick it better than the lot in charge!\"","link":"https://www.theguardian.com/football/2026/oct/20/how-brazils-election-result-could-shape-womens-football-in-the-country"},{"title":"Football Daily | Kulusevski and Maddison return to form but are Tottenham also back?","banter":"\"Ah, Kulusevski and Maddison finding form again? Brilliant! Let’s just hope they don’t pull a disappearing act like my last three dates!\"","link":"https://www.theguardian.com/football/2026/oct/20/tottenham-hotspur-win-football-daily-newsletter"},{"title":"David Squires on … Manchester City sailing into unknown Premier League waters","banter":"\"Manchester City sailing into unknown waters? More like they’re just lost at sea while the rest of us are here on dry land, having a pint and watching the titanic struggle of a proper team!\"","link":"https://www.theguardian.com/football/picture/2026/oct/20/david-squires-on-manchester-city-sailing-into-unknown-premier-league-waters"},{"title":"Animal rights group urges Crystal Palace to retire bald eagle mascot","banter":"\"Oi, Crystal Palace, why not just swap the bald eagle for a proper British bird? Like a pigeon! At least they won’t flap off when they see our defence!\"","link":"https://www.theguardian.com/football/2026/oct/20/amimal-rights-group-peta-urges-crystal-palace-retire-bald-eagle-mascot-phoenix-selhurst-park"},{"title":"Erik ten Hag accuses Cristiano Ronaldo of ‘letting down’ Manchester United","banter":"\"Oh look, Ten Hag's having a right moan about Ronaldo! What’s next, blaming him for the weather? Mate, the only thing Ronaldo's let down is his hair gel!\"","link":"https://www.theguardian.com/football/2026/oct/20/erik-ten-hag-accuses-cristiano-ronaldo-of-letting-down-manchester-united"},{"title":"Brighton are the apex B club – their next target should be a Champions League place | Jonathan Wilson","banter":"\"Brighton in the Champions League? Aye, mate, next thing you know they'll be serving caviar in the stands and wearing suits to kick off! More like Brighton’s aim is to avoid getting relegated to the pub league!\"","link":"https://www.theguardian.com/football/2026/oct/19/brighton-premier-league-start"},{"title":"US under-17 women beat Samoa 17-0 for biggest win in World Cup history","banter":"\"Blimey, even my nan could score against Samoa! 17-0? Did they bring a rugby team instead?!\"","link":"https://www.theguardian.com/football/2026/oct/20/uswnt-u-17-samoa-world-cup"},{"title":"Villarreal’s Iñigo Pérez ready to meet Iraola again in test of old bond","banter":"\"Ah, Iñigo and Iraola, back together again like a couple of dodgy mates who keep finding their way into the same pub fight – can't wait to see who loses their pint first!\"","link":"https://www.theguardian.com/football/2026/oct/20/liverpool-villarreal-inigo-perez-iraola-test-of-old-bond"},{"title":"Dwight Yorke: ‘I’m not a kid trying to get into management – I’m a manager’","banter":"\"Aye, bless him! Dwight’s finally figured out he's not just dressed for a game of FIFA with the lads – he’s actually in the dugout trying to play footie manager in real life! Good luck with that, mate! Hope you've got more tactics than a pub team at 3am!\"","link":"https://www.theguardian.com/football/2026/oct/20/dwight-yorke-interview-manager-ghana-trinidad-and-tobago"},{"title":"Konsa bullish about Arsenal’s Champions League hopes as Bayern clash looms","banter":"\"Konsa’s got more faith in Arsenal’s Champions League chances than I’ve got in my mate staying sober at the pub – and we all know that ain't happening!\"","link":"https://www.theguardian.com/football/2026/oct/19/ezri-konsa-arsenal-champions-league-bayern-munich"}]}